Did you know?

Today... in honor of MY favorite sports...favorite teams...opening game of the year... I decided to give you a little lesson in the greatest game in the land..

What's that game you ask?

Y...it's HOCKEY!!!

Yes, HOCKEY..

Did you hear that? I can say it louder.

No...ok then...

I LOVE hockey... everything about it.. it is... simply the greatest sport ever....
{well, watching Michael Phelps swin is pretty darned exciting too!....hehe}

Tonight...

Was opening night...

I love the anticipation....

7 or more months to go..

in a rentless pursuit...

of ..

Lord Stanley....

who's he you ask?

That's for another day....

Here's some funny Hockey Stuff....

Here's to a GREAT Lord Stanley Winning Season!





Hockey Humor
Top Ten Biggest Lies in Hockey:
10. "We think the referee made the right call."

9. That "foot-in-the-crease" has really improved the game in many ways."

8. [Anything having to do with Mike Keenan]

7. [Anything having to do with press coverage of how salary negotiations proceed in a friendly
manner]

6. "We think his agent advised him very wisely."

5. "Don't sweat it, kid -- we're just sending you down to the minors for a few weeks."

4. "Our players never take painkiller injections."

3. "I don't care if I am not scoring, so long as the team is winning."

2. "Honest coach, I only had two beers last night."

1. "Don't worry, my roommate is a really heavy sleeper." more Top 10 Hockey Funnies

The Player's Psalm by Loralyn Bemis

The coach is my shepherd .....I shall not get penalized.... He maketh me to do skating drills.... My captain leadeth me into games .....He restoreth my faith... He leadeth me into the path of winning games for the team's sake..... Yea though I face the wrath of the coach I will fear no evil for my stick is with me my pads and my helmet they comfort me ....They preparest game situations for me ....In the presence of my rivals They annointest my body with sweat .....My water bottle runneth over..... Surely stats and games shall follow me for all the days of my career.... And I will dwell on winning the Cup forever

Descriptions of Team Positions

Team Coach
Leaps tall buildings in a single bound
Is more powerful than a locomotive
Is faster than a speeding bullet
Walks on water
Gives policy to God

Team Captain
Leaps short buildings with single bound
Is more powerful than a switch engine
Is just as fast as a speeding bullet
Walks on water if the sea is calm
Talks with God

Assistant Captain
Leaps short buildings with a running start and favorable winds
Is almost as powerful as a switch engine
Is faster than a speeding BB
Walks on water in an indoor swimming pool
Talks with God if special request is granted

Defenseman
Barely clears a quonset hut
Loses tug-of-war with a switch engine
Can fire a speeding bullet
Swims well Is occasionally addressed by God

Forward
Makes high marks on the wall when trying to leap buildings
Is run over by a locomotive
Can sometimes handle a gun without inflicting self-injury
Dog paddles
Talks to animals

Rookie
Runs into buildings
Recognizes locomotive two out of three times
Is not issued ammunition
Can't stay afloat with a life preserver
Talks to walls

Referee
Falls over doorsteps when trying to enter buildings
Says "Look at the Choo-choo!"
Wets himself with a water pistol
Plays in mud puddles
Mumbles to himself

Goalie
Lifts buildings and walks under them
Kicks locomotives off the tracks
Catches speeding bullets with his teeth and eats them
Freezes water with a single glance (who needs a Zamboni?)
(S)he is God.


It should be noted that the 2nd greatest sport ever is....AGGIE football!! I don't even let burnt orange ( ahem.) in my house....

What? you still don't know anything about Hockey?

{sigh}

it's really quite easy....

Stick..Puck...Net....

any questions?

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